I call a do-over

Ok.... so F for lack of consistency goes to....me.  Lets just say blogging from an apartment you are "temporarily" living in which then turns in to a 10 month stay with very little room, two dogs, a cat, 2 adults and a 2 year old becomes a nightmare really quickly and remembering to check in here was at the bottom of my "must do" list. BUT, I am happy to say we are finally in our home that we waited a long time for and in the process of getting settled. All is well with the family and I am slowly regaining my sanity. Really, apartment living isn't for me. It worked in college when I only used my apartment as a place to sleep, shower and store my cereal, but as a home...no. Just no. But, let me be glass half full...I did learn some things while living at the gates of hell.

1. Just because the girl upstairs is an adult doesn't mean she knows that DAWN doesn't go in the dishwasher. Something else she doesn't know.... water travels down....like down through my ceiling...

2. "Please pick up after your pets" is a suggestion

3. Even when it's -20 degrees out and icy, college girls will find a reason to wear shorts that are so far up their asses they double as dental floss.

4. Neighbors stop talking to you after you confuse a wad of thread on your sleeve for a spider.

5. I didn't know my jump and screeching abilities were so effortlessly timed for the instance I should confuse a wad of thread on my sleeve for a spider.

6. 2 year old don't care if you have neighbors and when you remind them mid tantrum they like to go UP an octave in screaming...I'm guessing because they think the neighbors should think you are torturing your child behind closed doors.

7. Lastly, I'm not cut out for giving advice. I think to give advice you have to be sympathetic, a good listener, and some other things....I'm none of the above.

I'm here to ramble... I'm good at that.

Here's a picture of one pissed of 2 year old. Enjoy

wow....

     I think I have come to the realization that I can't be one of those people that blogs EVERY. DAY. I just can't. My schedule is too crazy with work and then coming home and wrangling an almost 2 year old and then there's the list of 90000 other things I have to/want to do.
    So, I feel like I'm getting a mulligan per se. (I really hope I used that word correctly, I don't play golf....the only thing I like about golf is that it gets my husband out of the house here and there). I had started this reinvention of myself and to be honest it wasn't going very well. While I was working out consistently and trying to find non "mom" things to wear there was this little thing that kept happening. I kept getting sick. Every meal, no matter what it was would make me feel TERRIBLE and I was putting on weight like crazy. I finally broke down and saw my doctor who had a hunch it had to do with my gallbladder. Well, fast forward to today and I'm on day 3 of recovery following my gallbladder yank (yes, that is ACTUAL medical terminology.) As weird as this may seem, I think this is it. I think this is my wake up call, my reset button that I needed to get healthy, get happy (er), and focus more on myself. (I hate how selfish that sounds but every mom needs that me time because it does effect the rest of the family at some point). So, since Monday I have been eating MUCH healthier, I have cleaned out my closet, I'm getting ready to start meal planning, saving money, exercising every day (NO EXCUSES). I'm going to do reinvent myself. No more wishing I was thinner, healthier, more athletic, etc. Its happening. (this is where you picture me standing tall on the top of some really huge mountain somewhere surrounded by a halo of light, smoke, and singing angels.) But, before I get into all that stuff let me please leave you with a wonderful game I like to call.....
 Stupid Shit Stephanie said while on drugs, coming out of anesthesia, and possibly also in a sober state."
I had a hunch I was that person that can't take anything seriously ever. (Picture Chandler on Friends) but today pretty much confirmed it.
Scenario one: I'm told to take EVERYTHING OFF to dress into my gown. The nurse comes in and I ask "Was I really supposed to take everything off because I don't want to make anything awkward and/or make anyone jealous"
Scenario two: While I know they ask me "So what are we doing to you today?" as a failsafe for everyone involved it did make me a little nervous that I had to tell them what organ to remove. So, they roll me into the O.R. and ask me that question and I say "Gallbladder yank and liposuction, if you hand me my phone I have a picture of the body I want"
Scenario three: They are giving me my discharge instructions and when the nurse finishes she asks "Do you have any questions?" I say " How long until I can start running marathons again?" Before she can answer I say " I don't really run marathons but I wanted you to think I was badass"

To all of those that came into contact with me that day, I apologize. Actually, to all of those that will continue to have contact with me until my Percocet runs out....I apologize.

Until next time!

Life is crazy .... or at least that's my excuse

I wish I had a better excuse for my absence the last few days.  I don't.  I do have some updates though! My house has officially been started! Last Friday they put the piers in and I'm hoping they got a little more done today. It takes me a lot to not drive down there everyday and check up on the progress. I'm a little butt hurt that we may be spending Christmas in an apartment. I was hoping to be in our new house by then so that we could have the fireplace going and have all of our decorations up and do the whole excited 2 year old thing since he's now old enough to understand the excitement.  Maybe if I think good thoughts and take the construction workers donuts on a regular basis I can still have my dream of a cliché I mean... perfect Christmas morning! That being said.... what the fuck housing market?! How do you go from lowest interest rates of all time to highest in such a short time? Get your shit together. Vent over. Here's the progress on our home!

As for the trying not to dress like a mom thing...I've been battling some stomach issues and I've been bloated and yucky so I haven't tried on anything new to show you guys. I did have to order a smaller size in my favorite Levis so I hope that means I'm seeing progress at the gym despite the crap going on. I am getting biceps and that's always exciting. Its fun being a strong girl.

I promise not to be such a stranger!
Until next time!

Back to the grind!

Today was my first day back to work in a week. I feel like I had been gone a month! It was really hard to go back. I had so much fun hanging out with bipolar midget. I wasn't looking forward to the stress returning. It turned out to not be such a bad day and it's already the middle of the week so I really shouldn't complain. I skipped the gym today to have lunch with a friend but I promise to go tomorrow. I'm starting to see results in my arms and legs from all the weights I've been lifting for the past two months and it's both exciting and motivating! I got some good tips from the trainer at the gym so I'll start posting my daily workouts. Also, if you haven't tried it, Muscle Milk is delicious and filling. It's great for breakfast and post workout. The name sounds "Guido-like" but just uttering the words protein and shake in the same sentence sound "Guido-like". I'm actually not THAT embarrassed to wear shorts out in public anymore...either that or my "give a damn" broke.

Tomorrow, NY and Co. delivers my new non V-neck t-shirt clothes so I'll post those and a couple other shirts I picked up yesterday that are super cute. But...for now, enjoy this adorable picture for Way back Wednesday. That is me and my hubby at our senior prom in 2004. :)

Until next time!!

A little of this and a little of that

This may have been the best Monday I've had in a long time......because I wasn't at work. Let me share a picture and then Tarantino this for you....Picture this...a warm day at the Oklahoma City Zoo....

That there is my child enjoying a corn dog that may have been almost as big as him. He ate the ENTIRE thing...but that's not the point. The point is.....do you know how many crude jokes can be spun from a simple yet over priced corn dog? It doesn't help that when my mother and I are together we couldn't be serious even if you were pointing a gun to our heads and yelling, "BE SERIOUS OR DIE!". We would be dead. Here are a few phrases that came from this moment
1. eat your weiner
2. don't rub the weiner on your head
3. Mom- "Stop rubbing that on me!"

I'm sure there were more but my train of thought was derailed by the impressive ability in which my child could launch a chunk of banana across the food court. He'll either be a famous athlete some day or a famous monkey impersonator. I'm hoping for the first possibility. I'm pretty sure I'll decide I need new boobs one day and I think it's only fair that my son (the root cause of why they are so sad and limp) be the one to pay for their revival. I don't see a monkey impersonator (no matter how famous) being able to afford a nice and level set of tatas for his dearest mommy. (Is that weird? that last sentence made me feel weird)

Don't get me wrong...we did other things at the zoo beside make inappropriate corn dog jokes all day. We had a lot of fun. Despite the heat, most of the animals were out and doing their thing. Even the Galapagos tortoises were feeling frisky.....I'm glad Alex had fallen asleep at this point...that would have been an awkward conversation that I'm not ready to have.

So now that you are picturing two hundred year old turtles "getting it on" let me completely spin this around and tell you how excited I am. I ordered some clothes from New York and Company that as of today have shipped! This is the first step in building a nice versatile wardrobe that doesn't consist of mom jeans, V-necks tshirts (IN EVERY  COLOR) and flip flops. Once these things arrive and I'm sure that they all fit I'll share what I bought and why I believe they are going to be great pieces for my new and improved wardrobe. Now lets all join hands in prayer that I will lose 30 lbs before they arrive making them entirely too big. (that is a good problem to have).

Until next time!

Influenster

I'm new to this but some friends of mine are apart of it and it seems like a pretty cool deal. You get products sent to you for free and then you use them and write reviews, tell your friends, and help out the companies that make these products. The more people you can access the higher your score is and the more products you can test for free. Not too shabby! Once I get more active with Influenster I'll be sure to let you know what I think about the things I've tried.


Sorry to post and run. We went to the zoo today and as soon as I get some pictures uploaded I'll tell you what a fun, yet crotch swamp inducing day it was!

Until next time!

Lot stalking....

We have had some abnormally wet weather for Oklahoma in the past few months and the Moore tornado in May caused some delays when it came to starting our home. about 3 weeks ago we were told that it would be about a month before they could start our home because they are so delayed. Our builder is supposed to email us right before he starts and then update us weekly about their progress. So, because in my head 3 weeks is a month I concocted some notion that the builder has lost both me and my husband's email address and that's why we haven't heard anything about them starting. I drove by today and my crazy ideas were wrong....it's still an empty lot with a sold sign and some crap from the house they are building next door. Sigh.... I'm so impatient! Another reason why custom building is NOT for me. BUT, I'm also very OCD. I must have pissed someone off in a past life that had some pull. OCD and impatient are a terrible combination. So, since I had driven all the way to just be disappointed I decided to slowly drive up and down our street praying that no one would call the police on the weird lady in the white jeep creeping around. I had a mission though, scope out all my future neighbors and judge them according to the exterior of their house, lawn furniture, ability to maintain a yard, etc and decided then and there which neighbors I wasn't going to like. Maybe they'll change my mind.....maybe. So the waiting game continues....

On another note, my bipolar midget has decided that diaper changes are the equivalent to being quartered. I'm sure my apartment neighbors love hearing him scream bloody murder every 3-4 hours depending on his liquid intake that day. Some times I think duct tape was invented for impatient, OCD moms. I think potty training may be coming around the corner. I should start reading up on how to exactly do that. I've heard bribery works like a charm.

Until next time!