A little of this and a little of that

This may have been the best Monday I've had in a long time......because I wasn't at work. Let me share a picture and then Tarantino this for you....Picture this...a warm day at the Oklahoma City Zoo....

That there is my child enjoying a corn dog that may have been almost as big as him. He ate the ENTIRE thing...but that's not the point. The point is.....do you know how many crude jokes can be spun from a simple yet over priced corn dog? It doesn't help that when my mother and I are together we couldn't be serious even if you were pointing a gun to our heads and yelling, "BE SERIOUS OR DIE!". We would be dead. Here are a few phrases that came from this moment
1. eat your weiner
2. don't rub the weiner on your head
3. Mom- "Stop rubbing that on me!"

I'm sure there were more but my train of thought was derailed by the impressive ability in which my child could launch a chunk of banana across the food court. He'll either be a famous athlete some day or a famous monkey impersonator. I'm hoping for the first possibility. I'm pretty sure I'll decide I need new boobs one day and I think it's only fair that my son (the root cause of why they are so sad and limp) be the one to pay for their revival. I don't see a monkey impersonator (no matter how famous) being able to afford a nice and level set of tatas for his dearest mommy. (Is that weird? that last sentence made me feel weird)

Don't get me wrong...we did other things at the zoo beside make inappropriate corn dog jokes all day. We had a lot of fun. Despite the heat, most of the animals were out and doing their thing. Even the Galapagos tortoises were feeling frisky.....I'm glad Alex had fallen asleep at this point...that would have been an awkward conversation that I'm not ready to have.

So now that you are picturing two hundred year old turtles "getting it on" let me completely spin this around and tell you how excited I am. I ordered some clothes from New York and Company that as of today have shipped! This is the first step in building a nice versatile wardrobe that doesn't consist of mom jeans, V-necks tshirts (IN EVERY  COLOR) and flip flops. Once these things arrive and I'm sure that they all fit I'll share what I bought and why I believe they are going to be great pieces for my new and improved wardrobe. Now lets all join hands in prayer that I will lose 30 lbs before they arrive making them entirely too big. (that is a good problem to have).

Until next time!